This morning I was thinking about spiritual gifts, because our church will soon be doing a workshop about this topic. And suddenly I heard this song in my heart, God singing it over me and all of us. Very simple and short, but meaningful to me.
I was in a Bible Study. We had just read 1 John 4: 17-18.
"This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."
The question was asked, "What is the day of judgment?" and it occurred to me that there are many sorts of "days of judgment", times when our faith is tested. I don't have fear for the final day of judgment, but what about the intermediary times of testing. I don't want to be foolishly sure that I will pass the test in all times of trial.
So that became a prayer, became a poem, became a song. I probably did not pay as much attention as I might have to the rest of the study.
This is a song I wrote almost 30 years ago, but I had lost it. I couldn't remember the words or the melody except in a kind of ghost sense. In recent years, I've asked God if he would help me get it back. Then yesterday, it suddenly came back to mind. I guess it's time. I drew from Romans 8:28, Romans 8:38-39, the idea that the church is the Bride of Christ, and my memories of my wedding vows.
I have recently been thinking about various Arabic names for God, and have come to Al-Ghaffar, the Repeatedly Forgiving. As I read through the different commentaries in Islamic sources on this name, they read much like Christian commentaries on forgiveness, especially stressing the point that one should not fail to ask for forgiveness even though it might seem like the number of sins one has committed are overwhelming. (There is another, related name, Al-Ghaffur, which stresses God's willingness to forgive even great sins).
In liturgical churches, we often pray some version of a general repentance prayer that goes, "We have not loved you with our whole heart; we have not loved our neighbors as ourselves. We are truly sorry and we humbly repent. For the sake of your Son Jesus Christ, have mercy on us and forgive us; that we may delight in your will, and walk in your ways, to the glory of your Name.""
There is a tension in the Christian life. On one hand, in Christ we are dead to sin, and sin should have no dominion over us. John goes so far as to say that "who resides in him does not sin; everyone who sins has neither seen him nor known him." (1 John 3:6). However, Christian experience tells us that becoming a Christian does not, in fact, bring us immediately into a sin free life. It is not that there is no progress or no victory, but we as we progress in our spiritual walk, we become more aware of subtler sins. At least, that is the hope.
This song is almost a year and a half old. I started a blog entry and never posted it. I'm trying to catch up on having my blog up to date.
I've always been intrigued by the concept that we are living stones. When I looked up the verse, I was struck by the fact that we are living stones that God is building together into his temple or his house. Together, we are meant to hold the very presence of God.
The letter of 1 Peter talks about this:
You are coming to Christ, who is the living cornerstone of God's temple. He was rejected by people, but was he was chosen by God for great honor. And you are living stones that God is building into his spiritual temple. What's more, you are his holy priests. Through the mediation of Jesus Christ, you offer spiritual sacrifices that please God. As the Scriptures say, "I am placing a cornerstone in Jerusalem, chosen for great honor, and anyone who trusts in him will never be disgraced." Yes, you who trust him recognize the honor God has given him. But for those who reject him, "The stone that the builders rejected has become the cornerstone." 1 Peter 2: 4-7 NLT
As I thought about this, I realized that I have always thought of Jesus as our cornerstone as meaning that he was like the keystone of an arch (without the keystone the whole thing falls apart). But the cornerstone is the one that all the other stones have to line up with for the building to take shape.
This is a new song that has been running through my mind lately.
Along with it is a recognition that it is all to easy to have the "mirror" running backwards so that instead of reflecting God with our lives, we only see in our understanding of God a reflection of our own prejudices and preconceived notions. This song, at least in my mind, is a prayer that more and more I'd be able to see God as God is and not just as I want God to be.
I guess one isn't supposed to post two blog entries on the same day, but I realize that this is a song that never made it on to the blog, and it is one that is important to me just now.
It's at least a year old, but it focuses on two scriptures that have been dear to me for a long while now.
Pressing Forward
Pressing forward, pressing in, pressing on to lay hold of
That for which Jesus laid hold of me.
Pressing forward, pressing in, pressing on to lay hold of
That for which Jesus laid hold of me.
Draw me, draw me, draw me and I will run after
Draw me, draw me, and I will run after You.
Help me to be more like Jesus.
What does it mean today to carry my cross?
Help me keep my eyes on the target
And follow whatever the cost.
Pressing forward, pressing in, pressing on to lay hold of
That for which Jesus laid hold of me
Pressing forward, pressing in, pressing on to lay hold of
